It's the little things

The first time a German told me they wished they could speak English as well as I spoke German, I was just like:

And now I'm like:

One of my German BFFs told me I could try riding his bike

How I expected it to go: 

How it actually went: 

Peinlich.  

Shit Germans Say Part 4

A coworker's lesson on using gender in the German language goes terribly wrong:

"So if you want to sex the pipetteboy...."

I laughed so hard that I didn't even hear how that sentence ended.

You know you live in Germany when...

The pop machine at work runs out of Spezi and your coworker is so troubled that he calls the company to complain.  He does this after talking to the Hausmeister of course, because Ordnung (und Spezi) muss sein.

Oh, the possibilities

I stole this from a friend, but I had to share it because this runs through my mind on more occasions than I'd like to admit. If only McDonalds here didn't have such fugly uniforms...

http://9gag.com/gag/3968870

We found love in a hopeless place

Because I don't always have a euro coin for the shopping cart

That look you get after informing a supermarket worker you accidentally dropped a yogurt on the floor.

Happy Birthday Nutella!

Yesterday my coworkers were trying to settle the debate of Nutella's gender and dediced to look it up on Duden.  They didn't really find an answer to their question, but they did find out that today is Nutella's birthday!  So don't forget to wish happy birthday to Germany's lifeblood!

The internet is on to us

http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi1hMGE1MGNhNGQ4MjY4ZmVl

You know you live in Sachsen when...

your neighborhood gets mass mailings from the NPD.

What makes Germany great

is bands like this:
The T.C.H.I.K.
Tote Crackhuren im Kofferraum, roughly translates to "dead crack whores in the trunk"

Described as a Berlin pop-punk/electroclash band. But do words really describe this??

And if you like this, check out their even catchier hit, "süsse boyz."
But seriously, listen to it and tell me it's not an Ohrworm.

This is how I imagine your life, Mooter

In honor of the only German I know who understands memes

I am posting his favorite meme to this blog.  Hopefully it is not his reaction to our blog... Especially since he's been featured twice in Shit Germans Say.

Shit Germans Say Part 3

"Wenn ich Amerikaner wäre, würde ich drei Waffen haben"
 Translation: If I were an American, I would have three guns.

This really happened to me...

Last night, my German BFFs got in an argument over the correct plural for the German word for "ostrich". The argument ended with me looking it up on my Kindle Duden.

Don't learn German, not even Germans can do it.

An Observation

Walking down the street in Germany on a holiday is like entering a post-apocalyptic world where most of the German population has apparently been raptured or killed.

Dear Germany,

Just no. Black is a color, chocolate is a food. Welcome to 2012.